I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
