I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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