You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
