Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
