Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
