you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
