some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
