What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
