The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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