when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
