Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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