Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
