WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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