So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize