I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
