WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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