you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
