I wish I could teleport
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
