You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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