I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize