Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
