would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
