thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
