I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
