I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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