1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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