I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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