we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
