I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
