Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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