Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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