I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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