I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
