they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
