So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
