I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize