i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
