Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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