I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
