let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who did Billy Mays play for?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
