I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
