dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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