everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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