Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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