Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
