I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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