what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize