she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
