I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
