Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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