I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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