dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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