Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
