There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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