yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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