Where is the hickey?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
