Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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